Greetings from the internet! I'm Ernest N. Wiseman, dude humorist, and wildly handsome founder of Funny Dude Shirts.
In a former life, I was a wildly handsome university researcher with an expertise in sociobiology, interpersonal relations, and the psychology of humor. I worked for several years as a university professor. It was a pretty great gig.
Like a fucking idiot, I left the university for a job as a research psychologist within the Department of Defense (DoD). I wanted to help servicemembers because I was once a soldier myself, and at the time, I thought it was my calling to serve again--this time as a civilian.
Well, it turned out that job sucked a 500 lb. bag of dicks. It didn't allow me to help servicemembers one bit, and I got sick and tired of dealing with the corruption, lack of accountability, and waste of taxpayer dollars, which, I can confirm, is the m.o. of most of the Federal workforce.
I fucking hated working for the Fed. Thinking back on it makes me want to murder people's faces.
I moved on from that fucking nightmare and thought about what to do next:
Hop to another Fed job: Not a chance in hell. I had worked for a few DoD agencies by that time and was burnt out on dealing with all of that bullshit I mentioned above. I would have probably put a bullet in my head if I had stayed any longer.
Return to university teaching: It crossed my mind, but I'd been away from it for so long it would have been quite difficult to return. That's just the nature of academia; once you leave the fold, it's tough to get back in. It's probably for the best anyway. I was wound so tight from the Fed job I probably would have ended up strangling some shitbag undergrad for texting during class.
Start an independent research and program evaluation firm: Thought about it for a minute, but decided that was a stupid idea. The good news is I didn't have any violent ideations while considering this option.
And Funny Dude Shirts was a Smart Idea?
No, I never said it was a smart idea; let's be clear on that.
But as I thought about my next career move, I happened to be surfing the 'net shopping for hilarious t-shirts. I Amazon'd, "hilarious shirts for men" and couldn't believe what I was seeing. I thought maybe I'd accidentally searched "retarded shirts for idiots," but no, and as of 29 March, 2018, it remains a sad state of affairs.
Go see for yourself.
It then occurred to me that I could do something about it--I could make hilarious dude shirts for non-idiots. I mulled the idea over for some time, debating whether it was feasible to make such a huge career shift. Would I be able to make a living in the hilarious t-shirt business? Would my "real" career be harmed if a colleague found out what I was up to? I worked my ass off for a decade to earn a goddamn Ph.D.--what would my family think?
But then I had a moment of clarity. It wasn't at all about me and my career or any of the other stupid petty bullshit I was worried about. It was about something much greater than that. The world sorely lacked hilarious t-shirts for non-retard/non-idiot dudes with brazen "I don't give a fuck" senses of humor.
In that moment of realization, I accepted my fate.
And a couple months later, after I figured out how the fuck people sold shit on the Internet, Funny Dude Shirts was born.
1. Check out the Manliness & Humor blog.
2. Get a load of these bomb-ass shirts.
3. Sign up for the FDS newsletter to get notified of hilarious new blog posts and new t-shirt designs. I assure you, Wiseman will not spam your ass or sell that shit to people who would. Fuck those guys.